Glimpses of the Devil

I read this book, copyright 2005, by M. Scott Peck, M.D. I respect the work of Dr. Peck because I have treasured his book People of the Lie for understanding my life experience with a sociopath. Prior to Dr. Peck experiencing demonic possession in two psychiatric patients, he did not believe in demonic possession. After experiencing exorcisms, he has direct experience and believes in demonic possession. He documents his direct experience with two exorcisms, with his team, and states he attempted to tell these stories with the “greatest possible scientific thoroughness”.

https://www.publishersweekly.com/9780743254670

Book review as follows: “Peck knows that many readers will be skeptical of or flummoxed by his report, and thus he emphasizes that he himself scoffed at the idea of demonic possession before encountering Jersey Babcock; Peck became involved in her case mostly to “prove the devil’s nonexistence as scientifically as possible.” But a comment by Jersey at their first meeting “blew the thing wide open.” Jersey, a Texas resident who believed she was possessed and who was neglecting her children as a result, said that her demons were “really rather weak and pathetic creatures”—a statement so at odds with, as Peck puts it, “standard psychopathology” that his mind began to change. Peck describes two cases in this book, that of Jersey and the more difficult case of Beccah Armitage, a middle-aged woman who grew up in an abusive family, married an abusive husband and was practicing self-mutilation when Peck took her case. Both cases result in full-blown exorcisms with Peck as the lead exorcist, and both, according to Peck, involved paranormal phenomena, including Beccah acquiring a snakelike appearance.”

My Emphasis With Reading This Book

DEDICATION TO TRUTH AND TO REALITY IS VITAL

It is important for us to seek truth rather than believe a lie when we know it is a lie. On page 82, Dr. Peck shares his therapeutic dialogue with Jersey who was sexually molested by her father at a young age. Dr. Peck states: “No, it would have been very difficult indeed-and very painful-to exercise that precious little bit of choice you had. That’s why you chose to believe your father’s lie. It was so much easier and seemed so much less painful than holding on to the truth. I’m making such a big deal of this, Jersey, because I suspect that was the moment when your possession first began. The moment when you chose to believe a lie even though you knew it was a lie. I cannot blame you for making that choice. Nobody could. No court of law would ever blame you. Your father was the criminal and you were the victim. So I do not blame you. God doesn’t blame you. Dr. Peck repeatedly told Jersey that God is truth, and truth is what is real. The choice to believe her father’s lie because it was the less painful alternative was a choice to believe unreality. And unreality belonged to the devil. “Unreality is darkness, confusion. Truth is light”. (pgs. 82-83)

Dr. Peck states that “Possessed people are not evil.” Those who are in a state of conflict between their true soul and their afflictions wage a war against evil. They believe themselves to be sick. In contrast, people who are “perfectly possessed” are not in a state of internal conflict and hence appear to be superficially well put together. Dr. Peck states that the “truly evil are notably self-satisfied, and hence the last people who would seek any kind of treatment for themselves” (pages 96-97).

Dr. Peck’s Conclusions

Dr. Peck integrates science and religion. He notes the great many paranormal signs in the exorcisms he was involved in. These included:

  • the client’s description of her demons as “weak, pathetic creatures”
  • a pretense of severe schizophrenic psychosis
  • an overpowering effect of anger and the client enjoying the experience
  • an extremely dramatic appearance of a satanic facial expression during the presence of demons and Satan
  • inability of the videotape to pick up this expression
  • the appearance on the videotape of a brief sudden and different but equally inexplicable change in facial expression
  • the emergence of four separate demonic personalities and their timing, which is highly unlikely to would seem impossible to have been created by the patient
  • dramatic three-week remission following the expulsion through deliverance
  • negative response to holy water and apparent agony when the Book of Common Prayer was placed on the patient
  • snakelike appearance for a period of over two days unapparent on videotape but apparent to everyone present
  • superhuman strength requiring not only ordinarily effective restraints, but the personal restraint of a team of up to nine during a time when the patient was severely underweight, malnourished, and sleep deprived

Dr. M. Scott Peck, after witnessing these exorcisms, believes he found answers to four major questions. I quote his answers as follows:

  • Yes, the devil or a demonic world does exist.
  • The phenomenon of demonic possessions of human individuals also does exist, and offers prima facie evidence for number 1.
  • That a process of exorcism can, in certain seriously possessed patients, be either curative or strikingly beneficial to an extent beyond that which the remedies of traditional psychiatry can achieve.
  • The study of possession is inextricably interwoven with the study of exorcism since it is only during the process of exorcism that the demonic possession is fully revealed. (page 247)

Dr. Peck adds that these answers lead to a far larger number of questions, delineates a few more questions to give trustworthy answers, and states:

  • Possession is not an accident. In becoming possessed the victim must, at least in some way, cooperate with or sell out to the devil. Such cooperation can range all the way from consciously and deliberately making an actual pact with the devil to something so seemingly innocent as a twelve-year-old incest victim choosing to believe her stepfather’s lie in preference to facing a reality almost too painful to bear.
  • Such initial sellouts are probably more often than not made under great duress.
  • Thereafter possession is a deepening process over time unless the victim renges on the pact.
  • The victim of possession can choose to renge on the pact at any time, but the longer the possession the more difficult the option becomes without an exorcism.
  • An exorcism is a massive therapeutic intervention to liberate, teach and support the victim to choose to reject the devil.
  • Often the victim’s age at the time of the initial possession can be accurately guessed before the exorcism, but commonly the victim will not offer the explanation or the why of the possession until after the exorcism has liberated him or her to do so.
  • The more recent the time of onset of the possession, the more the exorcism is likely to be successful.
  • Exorcism of genuinely possessed people should be expected to be combative, meaning that at least some physical restraint will be required.
  • The use of a least on deliverance either for healing, diagnosis, or both should be a stand part of the mangement of a case prior to exorcism.
  • Deliverance should be conducted by a team of at least three, exorcisms by a team of six or more. All exorcisms should be videotaped for the legal protection of the team and hopefully for eventual educational purposes. Elaborate written consent forms should be utilized just as they would be for any major surgical procedure.
  • It is highly questionable whether an exorcism should be attempted in a case where the patient has no adequate support systm o personal friends or relatives.
  • Possession is the most severe but not the only kind of demonic affliction. (pages 247-249).

We Are Not Victims

I would not want to be a sociopath. I would never want the life of a sociopath. They do extraordinary harm to other people and enjoy what they are doing. But they are a twisted mess of depravity on the inside.

Those who recover after surviving sociopaths are powerful spiritual beings:

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/492229434250322502/

Women United to Express Outrage Made a Difference

Women’s Coalition News & Views

(copy/paste of the newsletter from The Women’s Coalition)

“Victories for 2 U.S. Mothers in 1 Week

Other News; Lawsuit Update

Women’s Coalition

Women united to express outrage over Elizabeth’s and Crysta’s cases and it made a huge difference!

Elizabeth (left); Crysta (right)

ELIZABETH

A victory in Elizabeth’s case followed calls and emails to San Diego DA Summer Stephan. Coalitionists asked her to dismiss the five bogus felony charges her “Family Protection” unit had charged her with.

Elizabeth has accepted a plea deal of the dismissal of four of the five felonies she was charged with. Only one count of abduction/custodial interference charge remains and will be reduced to a misdemeanor after Elizabeth attends “rehab” for 4 months and completes probation of three years.

This is a victory, but not a total success. DA Stephan should have dismissed all of the unwarranted felony charges.

Elizabeth will be on probation for many years with a felony for abduction on her record. This will impact her ability to find employment and make it look like she committed a terrible crime.

Also, it is unclear why the “rehab” condition was imposed. The father had alleged drug abuse by Elizabeth in Family Court to portray her as a danger to her kids in order to get custody. For the DA to use an unproven allegation made in Family Court by a man who has been recently arrested for domestic violence perpetrated on her is further evidence of collusion between DA’s and judges in oppressing women.

Worse, these conditions will likely be used by the Family Court judge, Judge Jose Castillo, to justify keeping custody with the father and Elizabeth on supervised visits—which was the goal of this entire FRA-concocted scheme in the first place.

Judge Jose Castillo

The fact is, Elizabeth should never have been arrested, jailed or charged with any felonies. She had been wrongly deprived of custody and should have been able to see her kids, which a minimal investigation by law enforcement or the DA would have confirmed.

This case fits with the gendered pattern and practice of systematic oppression of women in their role as mothers. There isn’t a snowball’s chance police would have arrested a father for having taken his children from what used to be his home for a few hours, much less of a DA prosecuting and jailing him without bail. Even when fathers have documented histories of DV or child abuse, police just tell mothers they don’t get involved in custody cases and to go back to Family Court.

Elizabeth will be sentenced on July 22nd and released from prison. She will only be able to see her children supervised.

CRYSTA

After international publicity about Crysta’s case and the Coalition’s campaign to contact Family Court Judge Jefferey Cashe, the father’s sole custody was revoked.

However, this is also only a partial victory. Cashe gave temporary custody to guardians, with the rapist father and Crysta getting alternating weekends until a custody hearing on July 15th.

Incredibly, Cashe is still forcing the now 16 year-old to visit unsupervised weekends with the man she has reported raped her and for which there is medical evidence.

Judge Jeffrey Cashe

There is no legal or moral rationale which supports Judge Cashe’s decision. He should should immediately return custody to Crysta and protect the girl.

There does not need to be yet another custody hearing. The fact that the father raped Crysta when she was 16 makes him automatically unqualified for custody or visitation; and the strong evidence he raped his daughter should be enough to give custody to Crysta.

Why won’t judges do the obvious and allow a teenager to live with her mother where she feels safe and wants? Because it goes against the Old Boy Network [OBN] agenda to keep men entitled and empowered in the family. In practice, men still own children until they are 18.

GOING FORWARD

In Elizabeth’s San Diego case, there may still be a protest due to the fact she is still a felon and does not have her kids back. There are other mothers who have had their children given to abusive fathers who want to rally to raise awareness about the systemic sexism in Family Court.

If you’d like to join a protest in San Diego or L.A., email womenscoalitionintl@gmail.com. We will be doing protests in other places soon too.

In Crysta’s Louisiana case, you can still contact Judge Cashe if you want to give him a piece of your mind for continuing to endanger Crysta’s daughter by making her visit the rapist. He should immediately grant sole custody to Crysta and prohibit contact with the rapist until she is 18.

Barring that unlikely reversal, the custody hearing will be held on July 15th at the Tangipahoa Parrish Family Court. [If anyone knows the exact time, address, courtroom and whether zoom is available, please put in the comments.]

Big thanks to everyone who’s participated in our campaigns!


IN OTHER NEWS

POLICE CHIEF JAILED FOR DEPRIVING MOM OF RIGHTS

As the Women’s Coalition has been exposing, law enforcement often colludes in the empowering of fathers to take and abuse children (not mothers).

In Missouri, a former Police Chief was sentenced this month in Federal Court to nine months in jail for using excessive force and “deprivation of rights under the color of law (by a government official)”.

Chief Tragesser had gone to the mother’s house with the father’s mother and said there was a court order saying the children must go with the grandmother. When he didn’t produce the court order, the mother refused. He knocked her around, handcuffed her, put her in the police car and told her she couldn’t get out until she made her kids go with the paternal grandmother.

After 90 minutes in the back of the police car, the mother relented. She did not see her children at all for over four months.

The media does not go into the Family Court case, but Trassager likely did not act of his own accord. Regardless, the judge allowed the father to keep the kids away from the mother after that.

You may be thinking, “I was deprived of my civil rights under color of law (by a judge); maybe the Feds will help me?” But Feds never get involved in custody cases and rarely hold judges accountable. This was just a small-town police officer abusing his power.

LAWSUIT UPDATE

Women are being deprived of their civil and human rights under the color of law every day in family courts around the country and world. The Women’s Coalition will be filing a Federal lawsuit on behalf of mothers who’ve had their rights violated by judges unjustly giving custody to abusive ex-husbands and partners.

We have over 200 mothers in California so far, over 400 in other states and over 100 international. Presently, cases are being incorporated into the lawsuit, a big job.

If you are a mother who has lost custody or parenting time to an abusive ex and would like to join in the lawsuit, please fill out the relevant form.

CALIFORNIA

Class members: If you are a mother who lost custody or visitation in a California Family Court, please fill out this brief form. It asks just for your name, email address and location of case.

Class representatives: If you are interested in being a class representative, which requires documentation of your case, please fill out this longer form. [Note: if you fill this one out, don’t fill out the Class Member form.]

OTHER U.S. STATES

If you have a Family Court case in another state in the U.S. and are interested in participating, please fill out this brief form. It asks just for your name, email address and location of case.

OTHER COUNTRIES

If you have a Family Court case in another country and are interested in participating, please fill out this brief form. It asks just for your name, email address and location of case.

Join The Women’s Coalition.

Sociopath’s Playbook for Destroying Family

The Steve sociopath destroyed family on multiple levels. He, for example,:

  • ran a smear campaign, in my family of origin, to make himself look good and to alienate me from family support
  • lied to authorities to cause them to question my credibility, and thus, turn them away from looking at his criminal behavior
  • used excessive verbal abuse, in front of our children, so children would fear and hate their protective mother and avoid looking at the sociopath’s criminal behavior
  • used divide and conquer, among out children, so there was sibling rivalry

“In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. Secrecy and silence are the perpetrator’s first line of defense. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure that no one listens. To this end, he marshals an impressive array of arguments, from the most blatant denial to the most sophisticated and elegant rationalization. After every atrocity one can expect to hear the same predictable apologies: it never happened, the victim lies, the victim exaggerates, the victim brought it upon herself; and in any case it is time to forget the past and move on.

The more powerful the perpetrator, the greater is his prerogative to name and define reality, and the more completely his arguments prevail.”
― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence – From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

Family of Origin

With family of origin, for example, he:

  • showed up unexpectedly at my mother’s workplace, while he was tormenting myself and our children through divorce, and asked for a hug
  • falsely accused my mother of hitting our daughter’s best friend
  • contacted my father to get him to align with the sociopath to get me hospitalized against my will when ill
  • put on a show in front of my parents that he was happier than he had ever been after divorce, with his new wives, i.e. intentional fake kiss of third wife at funeral in front of my mother (sociopaths are actors but the fake kiss was obvious to my mother)
  • lied to his family about me being the problem
  • hid money, using his father, to pay less child support and alimony

Court, Social Services, and Community

Below is an article written by Sandra L. Brown, MA titled “Ongoing Battles with Pathologicals – Part 1, When Will This Ever End?” Sandra Brown is the founder of The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. The pathological, in my life, did everything listed by this author. I cannot prove he paid others to lie for him in court. I do know he bribed our children so they would not tell the truth in court. She says:

“Many of the Institute’s clients want to know ‘when will this ever end?’ — ‘this’ being the aggravation from a pathological in the form of:
•    Constantly harassing you
•    Stalking
•    Stirring the pot
•    Making up allegations against you
•    Not paying what they are suppose to
•    Going back to court for the 1,000th time
•    Turning others against you
•    Turning you in to Social Services for child abuse
•    Lying to the judge
•    Paying others off to lie for him in court
•    Gaslighting you or others
•    Making others dread him, you, or your situation”

https://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/?s=ongoing+battles+with+pathologicals

Children

The most repulsive behavior, of the pathological, was stooping so low as to use, abuse, lie, and manipulate our children. He, for example,

  • mailed Christmas cards to our children, with money in them for two of our children, but not to our eldest son. He was mad, at our eldest son, so he openly punished him in front of his siblings
  • he left our family saying he was “leaving to go have fun”, that I should “go have fun too” and put our children “in foster care” because he did not want the responsibility”. Our children feared he would abandon them
  • used custody battles to harass and to avoid paying child support
  • drank and drove with children on board while terrifying them
  • played favorites by buying gifts for children who were obedient to him i.e. sending expensive gifts and clothing home, after visitation with our youngest son, while ignoring our eldest son who refused visitation
  • purchased a car for our daughter so she would help him take our youngest son away from me
  • was obsessed with driving a wedge between myself and my children. For example, Patricia Hoffman, Ph.D., submitted an affidavit to the court on 2/24/90 to write specifically what he was doing with our daughter. She wrote: “I am afraid, again as is often the case, that by (the sociopath) keeping his home in the original town and being able to give the oldest daughter material advantages, he may have driven a wedge, hopefully temporary, between (name omitted) the daughter and her mother. I believe she may have been and is being influenced against her mother. I believe there are many witnesses to the sociopath’s extremely erratic behaviors. I would feel better about her safety and health if she were far away from here”.
  • routinely harassed through visitation

There are too many incidents to document here. I wrote more extensively, about the sociopath’s manipulations, in my book “Spellbreaker, Transcending Violence” (written under a pen name):

https://www.amazon.com/Spellbreaker-Transcending-Violence-Mariah-Clausen/dp/1470086824

Maternal Alienation

It was all about maternal alienation so the sociopath could destroy me and get everything he wanted. Research from Anne Morris describes maternal alienation: “Maternal alienation occurs in a context of violence against women and children, whereby perpetrators of abuse deliberately try to destroy the relationship between children and their mother (Morris 1999). Research shows that maternal alienation is used as a strategy of abuse across a continuum of violence and abuse, which includes child sexual abuse, and domestic violence. It is a form of emotional abuse that is used in conjunction with other types of abuse to enforce secrecy, maintain power and control, injure and punish.

Research into the tactics used by child sex offenders to entrap their
victims and enforce secrecy show that their strongest target is to break
the mother-child relationship (Hooper 1992; Laing 1999). In the area of
domestic violence recent reports draw attention to the manipulation and
undermining of the mother-child relationship by men who use violence and abuse (Irwin 2002; Mullender 2002).

The 1999 research project on maternal alienation identified that within
both domestic violence and child sexual abuse similar strategies are used
to undermine the mother child relationship. These strategies both
disparage the mother as a figure to be despised, and elevate the father
as combination of victim-hero (Morris 1999).

The strategies used in maternal alienation

Messages about mothers
• “Your mother doesn’t love you”;
• “Your mother is crazy”;
• “Your mother is lazy”;
• “Your mother is loathsome”;
• “Your mother is a bad mother”;
• “Your mother is to blame for everything”.


Messages about themselves – alienator as victim/hero
• “I’m poor – your mother took everything from me”;
• (with daughters) “Poor me – I need you to look after me”;
• (with sons) “As men we’re special, and the more you join me in laughing
at and degrading the females in the family, the more you become a
real man like me”.


Actions to alienate
• ‘Buy’ children;
• Stop mothers having contact;
• Threaten or punish children who don’t comply with his regime;
• Hold out ‘carrots’ – children constantly have to perform to get his
notice, affection or approval;
• Tell children to defy their mothers (coach them in degrading and
abusive acts towards women);
• Involve community, neighbours, and her family in her degradation

Overview of the strategies
• The strategies are used in powerful combinations, in matrices which
lock the meanings of the acts and messages together, which makes it
difficult for those at whom these strategies are directed to unravel
where they have come from.
• The messages are contradictory and tyrannical. They use rhetorical
devices to provoke an extreme emotional response.
• The process of maternal alienation is relentless and ongoing, often for
decades.
• They shape children’s views of their mother, their abuse and the
environment they live in, in powerful ways.
• They contradict children’s own experiences, and therefore can block
their own healing.
• Children are generally not aware that these messages are lies or
distortions of events.
• The messages serve to conceal or excuse the abuse that these men
perpetrate.
• In blaming mothers, alienators direct children’s anger towards their
mothers, and community anger towards the women in these families,
who are themselves victims of violence.

Effects of maternal alienation
Practitioners have noted a number of severe and ongoing effects of
maternal alienation. Documentation of these effects is important in
bringing to public and professional awareness the serious and brutal
consequences of emotional abuse. They indicate that child protection
services, police and courts need to take the occurrence of maternal
alienation very seriously, and act appropriately to address it.


Effects on children
• Children’s access to their mothers as their supporters is blocked.
Children feel rejected by their mother, or angry with her.
• Children become strongly aligned with the perpetrator of abuse, who
then has almost total access to the child and can continue the abuse
against him or her.
• Children become entrapped in a world created and controlled by the
abuser – the abuser defines and constructs children’s experiences,
memories, and their ‘reality’.
• This distorted reality, inconsistent with children’s experience, leads
to cognitive dissonance and blocks children’s healing. Children are
persuaded to believe that they can trust and depend on the parent
who is violent, unpredictable and unresponsive to their needs, but must
distrust their non-offending parent.
• Children are often coached to perpetrate violence and abuse against
their mother and their siblings.
• Children who grow up experiencing distorted relationships are likely to
develop dysfunctional relationship skills, which may lead to destructive
behaviour and problematic parenting and relationships in the future.
• Children’s social development is impaired, with children experiencing
anxiety, depression, anger, frustration, lack of concentration, delayed
development in speech and education, low confidence and self-esteem.
• Children become emotionally isolated, in particular from those who
could offer support, such as their mother, siblings and, grandparents.
• Children who reside with the alienator lack appropriate emotional and
behavioural guidelines, based on their developmental needs and their
safety. They are therefore at risk from harm from themselves and
others.
• Many children develop hostility to women which may then be
expressed in abusive relationships with women in the future.


Effects on women
• Women tend to blame themselves for the breakdown of their
relationships with their children, and believe they are failures as
mothers and partners.
• They are seen by others as bad mothers – as neglectful, or having poor
parenting skills.
• Women’s authority and control over their children has been
undermined or destroyed. Their mothering may break down and they
may not be able to look after their children.
• They become isolated and alienated from their families and
communities.
• Women can ‘become’ the woman they are told they are, and present
poorly to others.
• The effects of maternal alienation combine with the effects of
violence, (traumatised, low self-esteem, guilt, shame and self-blame)
to incapacitate women. These bring about a situation in which women
present poorly to others.
• Women are constantly positioned in a no-win situation which limits
their capacity to act positively and strongly. Whatever women do, the
alienators adapt and use it to bolster their story.
• Women’s sense of reality is skewed by the manipulations of the
perpetrator.
• Women often become the focus of professional intervention, and are
seen and treated as the problem.
• Women experience enormous pain and grief at the ‘loss’ of their
children.
• Women experience depression and anxiety, and can feel and appear
confused.
• The effects of trauma and despair may lead to women appearing
indifferent to their children, and generally apathetic. Or they may
appear frustrated as nothing works to improve their relationships with
their children.


Effects on mother-child relationship
• The relationship may break down entirely, and for a lifetime.
• The end result may be that the child is totally aligned with and living
with the offending parent, and alienated from the non-offending
parent.

Systemic maternal alienation
It is important to understand the ways in which the wider socio-cultural
context tends to support maternal alienation. There are two problematic
practices that contribute to systemic maternal alienation:

  1. Tendency to blame the mother
  2. Invisibility of the perpetrator
    Together they lead to a situation in which the system continues the abuse against the woman, and augments her children’s alienation from her, sometimes removing the children from her (Morris 2003).

Tendency to blame the mother


Women often become the scapegoats for community and professional incapacity to protect both children and women from male violence and abuse [it is generally agreed that 95% perpetrators of domestic violence and 95% perpetrators of child sexual abuse are male (NIJ Report 1995)].


An important part of appropriately addressing maternal
alienation is to reflect on and guard against the tendencies in our society
to unreasonably scrutinise, judge and blame mothers, but not actually
support them in their role.

https://cwasu.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Working-with-Maternal-Alienation.Practitioner_Resource2.pdf

https://www.facebook.com/freedomfromnarcissisticandemotionalabuse/photos/a.166314537112122/751193031957600/

Illegal to Give Child of Rape to Rapist: Judge Caught Enabling Sexually Abusive Father

Sounds to me like another case of a corrupt judge (more than likely a sociopath, in the Family Court System, who enables a sociopath rapist: (copy/paste of article from The Women’s Coalition as follows):

“The Truth about the Custody Case Getting International Media Attention

Mom Raped as Teen Loses Custody to Rapist; Daughter Reports He Raped Her Too

Women’s Coalition

Crysta and daughter; Judge Jeffrey Cashe

International MSM [MainStream Media] is reporting a Louisiana mother’s case as “shocking”, “baffling”, and “confounding”, with expressions like “How could this possibly happen?” They are portraying as bizarre a judge giving a rapist father custody when it happens all the time in family courts around the world.

The only shocking thing about Crysta’s case—to those of us who know Family Court—is that the judge got caught enabling the sexually assaultive father. MSM is typically loathe to place blame on judges in custody-cases-gone-wrong and look for other scapegoats. Many are focusing on law enforcement’s failings in Crysta’s case.

[To take part in activism on this case, see below.]

CRYSTA’S STORY

In 2005, when Crysta was 16, she was raped by a 30 year-old man. That is automatically statutory rape, no judge or jury needed to establish that fact. But Crysta was afraid to report it as a teen and instead allowed people to believe a boyfriend had gotten her pregnant.

Six years later, in 2011, the rapist found out he was the biological father of the girl and filed for custody. Crysta’s attorney never informed her she could file charges against the father just assumed it was too late. She was led to believe she had no choice but to allow the rapist into her daughter’s life.

Crysta

The rapist was granted shared custody, despite the undeniable, mathematical fact he had raped Crysta, which could not have escaped the judge’s notice. A few years later, the rapist was ordered to pay child support. Not long after, he filed for 50/50 parenting time in an apparent effort to reduce his child support and perhaps to gain more control. It worked.

Judge Jeffrey Cashe granted the rapist’s request for 50/50 and ordered Crysta to make child support payments to him. Later, when she fell behind, her rapist filed a motion to put her in contempt, which Cashe granted.

In 2015, Crysta’s trauma counselor informed her it was not too late to file criminal charges against her rapist. So she reported the rape to the local Sheriff, who proceeded to bury it. This fits the pattern of law enforcement aiding and abetting Family Court in covering up sexual abuse by fathers.

THE COVER UP

Although the cover up of Crysta’s statutory rape began in 2015 after she reported it to law enforcement, the cover up of her daughter’s abuse began in earnest earlier this year, according to court documents.

On February 23rd, Crysta’s then 15 year-old daughter returned from a visit with her father and told her mother he had sexually assaulted her the previous two nights. Crysta took her to the hospital, where they medical evidence of sexual assault was documented. She was interviewed at a Children’s Advocacy Center; criminal charges against the father pended blood and testing results.

The next day, Crysta filed for a Restraining Order [RO] with a supporting declaration asserting her daughter had disclosed her father had physically and verbally abused her and threatened to kill her, as well as having sexually assaulted her more than once. Apparently a temporary RO was granted.

But on March 21st, the father filed an ex parte (meaning no hearing was held) motion requesting sole custody on the grounds that Crysta had given her daughter a cell phone (which Crysta denies). The ongoing phone issue appears to have been an effort by the father to monitor communications.

At the ex parte, Judge Cashe ignored the reports by the daughter that the rapist had physically and verbally abused and sexually assaulted her. He granted sole custody to the rapist and restricted Crysta to supervised visits. That is the primary way judges enable paternal sexual assault and cover it up.

A common tactic is to give fathers sole custody “temporarily” at an ex parte hearing pending a trial, as Cashe did. The trial is then continued and delayed until the children have been at the abusive father’s so long they are either sufficiently threatened or Stockholmed into saying they want to live with the father. Or the judge rules it’s in their best interest to keep them there after all that time.

Judges often order supervised visitation where mothers and children are monitored by a supervisor to make sure they do not talk about the father’s abuse, as Cashe did. They are told they cannot talk about abuse or they will not be able to see each other again. A long-time supervisor says the majority of supervised visitations are not to protect children from abusive fathers, but to silence mothers and children who have reported abuse by the father.

I feel like I’m the victim in the situation and I’m being treated and harassed like I’m the criminal.

JUDGE JEFFREY CASHE

Judge Cashe had sealed the records, another common tactic in service of the cover up of paternal abuse. It was only when the media pressured him that he unsealed them Wednesday evening, which exposed the cover ups of both the mother’s and daughter’s assaults.

Judge Jeffrey Cashe

This is not the first time Judge Cashe has given an abusive father full custody. After losing custody to the abuser, a mother filed a complaint with the Judiciary Commission of Louisiana, saying:

As a citizen of the United states I have the right to a fair trial and due process. I’m a mother trying to protect her 7 year old son and his best interest.

Judge Cashe knew exactly what he was doing when he gave the rapist father sole custody, but it is important for the public to understand that he is not an outlier. Most judges uphold the age-old, patriarchal prerogative to sexually access one’s children, in order to maintain their status and privilege within the Old Boy Network.

Everyone in Family Court, including Crysta’s own attorneys, went along with Judge Cashe in keeping the father empowered and entitled. It was only when she found advocate Stacie Tiche that things began to turn around.

Stacie Tiche, Crysta’s advocate(left); Crysta (right)

[The father] should have never been given any rights to the child at all.

Stacie Tiche, Crysta’s advocate

STATUS OF TWO CASES

The Sheriff has issued a video statement admitting his deputy “screwed up” the investigation of Crysta’s statutory rape case. He appears to have been made the fall guy for the whole mess, taking focus off Judge Cashe. He’s now sent that case to the District Attorney for investigation, with no mention of investigating the daughter’s reports of sexual assaults.

The DA doesn’t have any choice but to charge for Crysta’s staturory rape, but there will likely be a sweet plea deal. There has been no word on the DA charging in the daughter’s reports of at least two sexual assaults. The rape kit appears to have either disappeared, was not tested, or the results buried.

DA’s almost always go along with the Family Court cover up of paternal sexual assault—at least with middle to upper middle class white men—as that is part of the overall multi-systemic entitling of men in their family. But with all the media attention, the DA may actually do the right thing and charge Crysta’s daughter’s identified rapist.

I just want my daughter home safe and my perpetrator out of our lives for good. My quality of life has suffered tremendously and [this custody case] has bankrupted me.

While much media focus is on the criminal case, Judge Cashe said there is not enough evidence of the daughter’s abuse, before even having a hearing on it. There is a hearing on custody in July.

First of all, it is illegal to give a child who is a result of a rape to the rapist, so it is not just the teen’s reports of sexual assaults that are at issue. If the teen is saying her father raped her and there is medical evidence corroborating it confirms it, to say there is not enough evidence is just wrong. Only preponderance is necessary in a custody case. This shows the problem is that judges can rule however they want, regardless of the evidence.

There is no need for yet another custody hearing. The permanent RO should have been granted to Crysta and can be granted immediately. Since it was illegal for Crysta’s daughter to have been given to her rapist in the first place, an immediate reversal of custody judgment should be ordered.

But, even with all the international outrage, Judge Cashe is still forcing Crysta’s daughter, who is now said to be 16, to stay living full time with the rapist, who is likely continuing to abuse and threaten to kill her, all the while being kept away from her loving mother.

It is a widespread mistaken belief that when children turn 12, they can live with the parent they choose. Not so. In practice, the father can keep children against their will until they are 18.

“SOMETHING MORE GOING ON”

It seems like they are protecting him, like there’s something more going on that I don’t know about.

Most mothers, like Crysta, who have had the misfortune to find themselves in Family Court, think there must be “something more going on”. It just doesn’t make sense that a judge would ignore substantial evidence of a father’s abuse and switch custody to him.

What women don’t realize is that their case is rigged before they even set foot in the courtroom. They don’t realize Family Court is designed to perpetuate male entitlement in the family, especially the fathers’ rights to sexually and otherwise exploit their children.

They do not realize they are sheep to the slaughter until it’s too late and they have lost custody of their precious children. And there is nothing they can do about it because the judge has all the power.

The Women’s Coalition exists in large part to warn women of this sad state of affairs: that there is no way to keep or protect our children in Family Court, and that we must demand an entirely new system that actually provides due process and equal protection in contested custody cases.

ACTIVISM

CAMPAIGN TO CASHE

If you’d like to give Judge Jeffrey Cashe a piece of your mind:

Call: (225) 686-7461 [voicemail: first press 1; then press 8 for Judge Cashe]

Email: lbankston@21stjdc.org

Example:

Judge Cashe, I am with The Women’s Coalition and we are disgusted that you took Crysta’s daughter away from her and gave custody to her rapist. You said there is not enough evidence of the sexual assault of her daughter when there is physical evidence. You need to protect her immediately and allow her to live with her mother. Thank you.

ALERT THE MEDIA

Alert your local/national media to the truth about Crysta’s case and ask them to do a story on the thousands of mothers who’ve lost custody to an abusive ex/father. Be sure and let them know it is systemic male entitlement/discrimination against women that is causing the Custody Crisis as documented by The Women’s Coalition.

You can refer them to these other current cases for examples: LacieSarah MarieRosario, and Elizabeth.

You can link to this article and to the Coalition website for more information.

SEXUAL ABUSE CASES

The Women’s Coalition is documenting custody cases that involve sexual abuse to support our contention that judges are deliberately disregarding evidence of abuse and enabling fathers.”

If you reported sexual abuse of your child in Family Court, please take a minute to fill out this form. You may do this anonymously.”

Rigged Before Setting Foot in Courtroom

What women don’t realize is that their case is rigged before they even set foot in the courtroom. They don’t realize Family Court is designed to perpetuate male entitlement in the family, especially the fathers’ rights to sexually and otherwise exploit their children.

They do not realize they are sheep to the slaughter until it’s too late and they have lost custody of their precious children. And there is nothing they can do about it because the judge has all the power.

When A Sociopath is Hell Bent on Destroying You

Here is a helpful article, from Carrie Barron, M.D. on Psychology Today, which explores how the definition of evil and the DSM diagnosis of Anti-social personality disorder criteria overlap:

“First, let’s look at the dictionary definition of “evil.” Here is the word “evil” as defined by Dictionary.com:

  • Morally wrong or bad
  • Wicked
  • Harmful
  • Injurious, unfortunate, disastrous
  • Bad conduct or character
  • Anger or irascibility

Now let’s compare “evil” to the DSM diagnosis of Anti-social Personality Disorder (PsychopathySociopathy)

  • Lying
  • Deceitful
  • Conning
  • Impulsive
  • Aggressiveness
  • Reckless disregard for the safety of others
  • Irresponsible
  • Lack of remorse after hurting others and rationalizing having done so
  • Failure to follow the law

Additional Antisocial Personality descriptions from the Mayo Clinic:

  • Exploits others
  • Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or for sheer personal pleasure
  • Intense egocentrism, sense of superiority and exhibitionism
  • Repeatedly violating the rights of others by the use of intimidation dishonesty and misrepresentation
  • Lack of empathy for others
  • Unnecessary risk-taking or dangerous behaviors
  • Poor or abusive relationships
  • Failure to learn from the negative consequences of behavior
  • Disregard for right and wrong

At any rate, horrifying psychopathology may be out there or within your own circle. If your brother, sister, cousin, or aunt, are thus endowed you might feel ashamed, doomed, tainted, from poor stock, responsible somehow as if you should have been able to stop the madness. It is especially hard to get your mind around it if you are the target. For kin to want to ruin you is a taboo mind twister, but it happens.

By Chloe Barron
Source: By Chloe Barron

If you have been blindsided by stunning malevolence here are 16 focus points to help you move on.

  1. Survive the event even when you think you cannot (hard to see that there is light when you are in the dark).
  2. Fight despair.
  3. Dis-identify with those who do not have your back but should.
  4. Find witnesses who mirror, validate and empathize.
  5. Associate with people who are compelled by truth.
  6. Indulge in comforts till you regain your footing.
  7. Get up when you cannot .
  8. Break contact and cease dialogue with those who are incapable of acknowledging what they have done—forever.
  9. Brush off debris, detritus, bothersome people who are neutral when being upstanding is called for.
  10. Start walking, one foot in front of the other; just move.
  11. Take back your productivity.
  12. Have faith in your natural capacity for love and joy.
  13. Hold on to your mental health by working with a good therapist or spiritual guide.
  14. Be a member of a community where emotionally perverse interactions are unacceptable.
  15. Reach out to others who suffered the same.
  16. Don’t be injured, be angry..

Fury is fine, but do not waste time seeking revenge. Trust that comeuppance occurs with time, truth and the psychopath’s long trail of transgressions. Let it go, because what goes around comes around—even when you are not trying to influence the outcome.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-creativity-cure/201504/when-sociopath-is-hell-bent-destroying-you

Learning What Evil Truly Is

In my experience with the Steve sociopath, when his mask came off through divorce, I was told what he would do next (by advocates for battered women). I kept saying, to myself, “he won’t do that” because it was too outrageous. I was being gaslighted, I was traumatized, I was in survival, I had three children to support and protect, I was in recovery from chronic illness, I knew nothing about sociopaths, and I was in denial. It was too much.

Guess what? he did what was predicted and much more. Sociopaths are unbelievable unless one has survived their brutality, lack of compassion, lack of empathy, and their thrill with hurting other people:

https://www.facebook.com/SarahGallardoSpeaksUp/photos/a.503998313071739/2299973056807580/

Hard Humorous Attitude Toward Sociopaths

https://www.someecards.com/usercards/viewcard/MjAxMi1jZTc1NWIyNzI4MGYyM2U4/?tagSlug=confession

Witch Hunt: Another Mom Jailed

Witch Hunt: Another Mom Jailed on Bogus Kidnapping Charges; Denied Bail

Women’s Coalition newsletter as follows:

On Thursday, Elizabeth was indicted on 5 felonies: 2 counts of kidnapping, 2 counts of child abduction/deprivation of custody, and one count of burglary. She is facing 21 years in prison.

These serious charges are exorbitant and unwarranted for reasons enumerated below, strongly suggesting this DA’s office is doing what so many others do: aid and abet Family Court judges in punishing, disempowering and silencing women about their ex’s abuse.

Elizabeth’s case follows a pattern of similar cases the Coalition has followed over the years. Some recent cases include: LacieSarah Marie, and Rosario.

[See below to participate in our campaign to the DA to dismiss the charges.]

THE “KIDNAPPING”

On Tuesday, June 7th, Elizabeth’s ex reported to San Diego police that Elizabeth had “broken into” and kidnapped their two young children, ages 4 and 6, from “his” house.

The same police department that had recently arrested the father for domestic violence immediately issued a MISSING CHILDREN bulletin for him, citing Elizabeth as an “accomplice”, saying somebody had seen her in a U-Haul. This with the full knowledge the kids would be given to the credibly accused violent father if she were caught.

The police alerted the media to get the public’s help in capturing her. The local stations covered the story from the perspective that Elizabeth was a bad mother who had kidnapped her children. The Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA)/GAL program, Voices for Children, jumped on it, publishing this photo:

Later that same day, around 4pm, Elizabeth was found with her children, just a few miles from the father’s house (her home before she was kicked out). She was not in a U-Haul; she was near a mall.

This made it obvious it was a custody case, not a kidnapping. But the police arrested her anyway and threw her in jail on a $100K bond. Apparently, without doing even a minimal investigation, the detective referred the case to the DA for prosecution.

THE ARRAIGNMENT

At her arraignment, the DDA [Deputy District Attorney] told Judge Laura Halgren that Elizabeth had kidnapped her children, was mentally ill and a drug addict, and had stolen the children from their father previously for three weeks.

But there is no credible evidence corroborating any of these accusations and there is much to refute them. The DDA was just regurgitating the father’s unsupported allegations in the Family Court case.

The DDA went above and beyond by arguing Elizabeth should be denied bail because she is a danger to her children and a flight risk. But she has no history of being a danger to her children or kidnapping them. She has been the primary-nurturing parent and their primary attachment figure, thus the kids are harmed greatly by being kept away from her.

Elizabeth’s public defender had no idea what was going on. Even so, he could have objected to DDA’s request to deny Elizabeth bail on the grounds that she had proffered exactly zero evidence supporting her specious accusations.

Judge Halgren denied Elizabeth bail and suggested mental health and drug treatment. The thing is: Elizabeth has no history of mental illness or drug addiction. It is the FATHER who is diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, which supports Elizabeth’s allegations that he has rages that terrify her and the children.

BOGUS CHARGES

Some of the countless women wrongly indicted & jailed

Elizabeth is indicted on 2 counts of kidnapping: PC 207 (a): “anyone who forcibly, or by any means of instilling fear, steals, takes, holds, detains, or arrests a person and carries them to another country, state, or county, or into a part of the same county, is guilty of kidnapping.” This carries an 8 year max sentence, X 2 kids = 16 years.

Elizabeth did not have to “force” or instill fear to take her children, and she did not take them to another county, not even to another city. She also did not take them maliciously—an element of every crime.

Elizabeth is indicted on 2 counts of child abduction/deprivation of custodial rights: PC 278 (a): “Every person who takes…and maliciously deprives a lawful custodian of a right to custody, or a person of a right to visitation is guilty under this statute.”

Having the children for a few hours does not constitute depriving the father of a right to custody, so these counts are completely unwarranted. And she was not “malicious”.

Elizabeth is also charged with one count of burglary. The DDA told Halgren that Elizabeth had “broken into” the father’s house. She didn’t happen to mention that it was Elizabeth’s home before the Family Court judge wrongly kicked her out on unfounded allegations the father had filed the day after he was arrested for DV against her.

It was not disclosed what she “burgled”. It could have been contested marital property since it was her home she took it from.

The abduction and burglary charges are “wobblers”, meaning they can be charged as felonies or misdemeanors. But for some obscure reason, the DDA chose to charge as felonies.

All these charges require “malicious intent”, which has been a thorn in DA’s’ sides, as it makes it harder to prosecute mothers who have no malicious intent. So they’ve found ways around that pesky little element. In California, jury instructions are given that if the mother has violated the letter of the law, that qualifies as malicious intent, so they have no choice but to convict. This is absolute BS, used specifically to aid in prosecuting protective mothers.

FAMILY COURT

On March 1st this year, the father was arrested for domestic violence, which a neighbor witnessed, and he was released shortly. The police did not file, nor suggest Elizabeth file a Restraining Order against him.

The next day, the father hired a fathers’ rights attorney and filed for divorce, along with a Restraining Order on unsupported claims of Elizabeth being a danger to her children because she is a mentally ill drug abuser. Judge Jose Castillo, granted the TRO against Elizabeth, despite no credible evidence she was a danger to her children.

The next day, Elizabeth filed for a Restraining Order in pro per, providing compelling evidence that the father was the one who had committed domestic violence against her and the children on multiple occasions; he had been reported to CPS for child abuse; he had been diagnosed with Bipolar causing his rages. The evidence included witnesses, videos, and written communications.

Judge Castillo ignored all her evidence, denied her TRO, kept the father’s in place and kept her young children away from their loving mother.

Judge Jose Castillo

With the children as leverage, Elizabeth eventually agreed to drop her valid TRO and he would drop his invalid TRO, so she could have partial custody. This was likely the goal all along: a tactic to clear the father of his history of DV and gain him equal parenting time so he would not have to pay child support. You know, the kind of tactics found in the old fathers’ rights manual: Screw the Bitch.

Not long afterwards, Elizabeth had cause to go to a DV shelter. San Diego was full up with victims, so she was sent to Arizona, where she got a Restraining Order. The father knew she was in a DV shelter, but he filed a fraudulent ex parte claiming she had kidnapped the kids. Judge Castillo ordered the father have sole custody and Elizabeth have no contact with her children, not even supervised.

[Remember, at the arraignment, the DDA said Elizabeth had absconded with the kids for three weeks, but this was when she was in the DV shelter. Judge Halgren mentioned this as a reason to deny bail to Elizabeth.]

When Elizabeth discovered she had lost custody AGAIN, she hired an attorney. Her attorney attempted to get the truth on the record and straighten things out, including that the most recent wrongful change of custody.

It is unclear what the visitation order was when Elizabeth took the kids on Tuesday. Maybe she missed them. Maybe she was worried about them. Maybe she was having a bad day and wanted to hold and hug them.

What is clear is that she was wrongly deprived of custody and visitation TWICE. What is also clear is that taking her kids from her home that she was wrongly evicted from by a biased Family Court judge, and hanging out with them in the same city for a few hours DOES NOT not legally constitute kidnapping or abduction/deprivation of custody.

WITCH HUNT

What is also clear is that indicting this mother on five serious, unwarranted felonies is part and parcel of the Witch Hunt raging in family courts around the country and world.

D.A.’s, criminal courts, law enforcement and social services often act as arms of the Family Court, colluding to punish and disempower uppity women who inadvertently challenge male authority in the family by reporting abuse and attempting to get protection.

DA Summer Stephan needs to be made aware that Elizabeth has been wrongly indicted and the charges must be dismissed. And that this is a custody case in which a mother wrongly lost custody and visitation due to the discriminatory family court system.

DA Summer Stephan

DA Stephan prides herself on her advocacy for vulnerable women and children, so she should step up in Elizabeth’s case and do the right thing. It is a SHAME that her own “Family Protection” unit is prosecuting a DV victim when it’s mission is specifically to serve and protect DV victims.

CAMPAIGN

The Coalition is initiating a campaign to D.A. Summer Stephan, who is likely unaware of Elizabeth’s case to date. We are asking her to dismiss the unjustified charges and release her from jail immediately.

You have an opportunity to help Elizabeth and engage in activism to end the Crisis!

CONTACT DA STEPHAN

PHONE: 619-531-3315 [you can leave voicemail even though it says to email]

EMAILsummer@summerstephan.com [subject: Elizabeth]

Write/say your own or use this example:

DA Stephan, I am with The Women’s Coalition and we believe Elizabeth has been wrongly indicted for kidnapping. This is happening to lots of women who’ve unjustly lost custody in Family Court. Elizabeth is a domestic violence victim. Please dismiss the charges against her and release her from jail. Thank you.

RALLY

If DA Stephan does not dismiss the charges, we will protest in front of her building in downtown San Diego and ask media to attend.

If you are interested in joining the protest, email: WomensCoalitionIntl@gmail.com and put “sd protest” in the subject line.

Thanks to all who are active in supporting mothers!

They Have to BREAK You to Leave You!

This is the deep depravity of a sociopath!

Embedded, below, is a very short video from Richard Grannon who says: “The narcissist (I add sociopath) can’t leave you unless you are absolutely destroyed and broken. You have to be completely broken by the leaving. And if they do leave you and you are not destroyed and broken, they will come fucking come back until you are. They’ll make sure of that.

The narcissist can’t leave you unless you are absolutely destroyed and broken. You have to be completely broken by leaving. And if they do leave you and you are not destroyed and broken, they will come fucking come back until you are. They’ll make sure of that.”

The purpose of that game is nothing more than a four-year-old tyrant trying to prove to you how important he or she is. That’s all it is.

They need you to suffer when they leave. The more you suffer, the more important and powerful they are. The more you are sad, angry, low and depressed, they feed from that”

True in My Experience

The sociopath’s obsession with destruction was true in my experience. When I became physically ill, after sixteen years of marriage to the Steve sociopath, he went nuts. I had thought it was because I was no longer an adequate narcissistic supply and was an inconvenience. So, he quickly grabbed new supply by going to the bars and having affairs. I had also thought he was extremely vindictive because I had to expose his abuse, in the family court system, in order to attempt to protect our children.

Now, I’m understanding that it is not totally anything I did. The reality is that the narcissist-sociopath’s need to destroy is simply their nature. The leaving is part of their plan for destruction. Their supply is supposed to bow down to the grandiose belief that they are the entitled god to be adored at all times. If their supply does not comply or is unable to do so, the sociopath’s dark side runs amok.

The word kill seems to be central to their thought life and speech. It is their spiritual nature which, I believe, is pure evil. I believe that some are actually possessed by demonic spirits. How could a parent have such a hard heart he/she doesn’t care about his own children?! How could a person salivate and premeditate the destruction and death of another person? especially the mother of his children? I believe it is a spiritual battle and something in them that is alien to the compassionate nature most of us have.

I think of Dr. Scott Peck’s book People of the Lie. Dr. Peck, a psychiatrist, who described evil and several exorcisms he witnessed as follows:

He described one possessed patient as actually becoming serpentine in appearance, with hooded eyelids, and the other as becoming so grotesque and inhuman that Peck, when he tried later in front of a mirror, was unable to contort his face into such a diabolic grimace. Dr. Peck went on to describe a “contemptuous grin of utter hostile malevolence” and how the “eyes would open wide with blazing hatred”.

He said “the patient suddenly resembled a writhing snake of great strength, viciously attempting to bite the team members” and that the “reptile darted out in attack”. He described a “most extraordinary sense of a fifty-million-year-old heaviness. Almost all the team members at both exorcisms were convinced they were at these times in the presence of something absolutely alien and inhuman” (People of the Lie, page 296).

Finish the Job

The Steve sociopath was obsessed with destroying me, was inhuman, and seemed possessed. He kept coming back for approximately ten years, after divorce, to finish what he had started. He must have been extremely enraged that I did not fall apart with tears when he left. I did not beg for him to stay. I did not suffer one day of missing him. My problem was that he was a human parasite who would not stay away nor leave me alone. Instead, he stalked! was obsessed! and extremely vindictive! I could not get rid of him!

He stalked. For example, I ran directly into him, at the Viking Plaza Mall in Alexandria, while I was carrying our youngest son on my back. He showed up at the arcade, at the Viking Plaza Mall in Alexandria, MN, when I took our children to the arcade. Years later, he stalked me and our children, at the Crossroads Mall in St. Cloud, MN, and was observed by friends as he came up behind me. He sent letters and did drive bys to let me know he was watching me, etc.. By then he had remarried and lived in Alexandria. So, it is shocking he had nothing better to do than to track me.

He must have known I was working on an undergraduate degree. In other words, he had tried so hard to destroy me but failed. I’m sure he hated seeing me move on, succeed, and was trying to destroy by instilling fear. I thought about purchasing a stun gun because I knew that separation, from the narcissist-sociopath, is the most dangerous time for a battered woman. Separation is most often the time when women and children are murdered. The Steve sociopath kept trying to destroy me, for ten years after divorce, because he is filled with the most vile, rotten, putrefying matter in his body. He is beyond repulsive and dangerous.

The sociopath tried everything short of actual physical murder to destroy me. He:

  • set me up with grooming and charm in order to con me before marriage
  • wore me down with verbal, emotional, sexual and physical abuse in the marriage
  • took off his mask and dialed up his abuse, to full speed, after separation
  • stalked, harassed, and abused his family after separation even after my relocation to another community
  • ran a smear campaign to cover up his crimes and to make me look like the problem. He seemed to say caring things like she’s a “flower in a hurricane” at the same time he interjected a criticism, a lie, a blame, etc. to cast all guilt away from him
  • disrupted as many of my relationships, as possible, by acting like a nice guy while running character assassination against me by asking for hugs, showing up at work places to make good impressions, yelling at our children when he was upset with me, etc.
  • bragged about his new relationships, to me and family members, with i.e. “happier than I’ve ever been”
  • broke laws without conscience
  • broke into my home, stole belongings, did damage, etc.
  • initiated custody battles to take children away
  • alienated my children by brainwashing, pathological lying, abusing, terrorizing, and bribing them
  • terrorized my children and I by putting our children in dangerous situations with no care for their safety
  • contacted Child Protection with fabricated allegations
  • lied in court, on the stand, for example saying I “hit him over the head with a frying pan”
  • punctured a hole in the tire to my vehicle
  • harassed by phone and mail
  • drove drunk with children on board
  • unknown if he set up car accidents
  • the list goes on and on and is unbelievable to a sane, compassionate mind

He tried so hard to finish the job but failed. He must be beside himself. He now has depression, pharmaceutical medications, stints in his heart, knee replacement, gall bladder surgery, obesity and whatever else is unknown to me. His children know he does not care and stay away (to my knowledge). He does not show interest nor care for our children.

Meanwhile, I have recovered, am healthy, on no medications, free, educated, and am physically trim. I live as gentle a life as possible since I know I can still be triggered by abusive people and/or threatening life situations. Dr. Sandra Brown recommends living a “gentle life” after surviving a sociopath: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pathological-relationships/201207/living-the-gentle-life-part-one:

“I have often seen people who have put a lot of effort into their recovery and NOT put a lot of effort into the quality of a gentle life following treatment. This is a mistake, because going back into a busy and crazy life, or picking another pathological, could reactivate PTSD. As much as people want to ‘get back out there’, and think they can return to the life they use to live, often that’s not true. ‘Wanting’ to live or do what you did before does not mean that you will be able to.”

Dr. Peck’s Books on Human Evil

Dr. Peck’s book, People of the Lie, was written in 1983. He wrote a book, A Glimpses of the Devil, in 2005. The Steve sociopath clearly made the wrong choice, in his life, and chose the path of being evil. I wonder if he needs an exorcism! I intend to read Dr. Peck’s 2005 book, Glimpses of the Devil, asap:

Cover image for Glimpses of the Devil : a psychiatrist's personal accounts of possession, exorcism, and redemption
https://www.amazon.com

Dr. Scott Peck, in his book Glimpses of the Devil, shares his personal accounts of possession, exorcism, and redemption in his career as a psychiatrist.

“In the tradition of his million-copy bestseller People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil, Scott Peck’s new book offers the first complete account of exorcism and possession by a modern psychiatrist in this extraordinary personal narrative of his efforts to heal patients suffering from demonic and satanic possession. He shares the details of two of his major cases.”

One was a true story of success with exorcism and the other an unsuccessful struggle against evil. In the description of this book, on Amazon, both cases are summarized: “Twenty-seven-year-old Jersey was of average intelligence; a caring and devoted wife and mother to her husband and two young daughters, she had no history of mental illness. Beccah, in her mid-forties and with a superior intellect, had suffered from profound depression throughout her life, choosing to remain in an abusive relationship with her husband, one dominated by distrust and greed. Until the day Dr. Peck first met the young woman called Jersey, he did not believe in the devil.

In fact, as a mature, highly experienced psychiatrist, he expected that this case would resolve his ongoing effort to prove to himself, as scientifically as possible, that there were absolutely no grounds for such beliefs. Yet what he discovered could not be explained away simply as madness or by any standard clinical diagnosis. Through a series of unanticipated events, Dr. Peck found himself thrust into the role of exorcist, and his desire to treat and help Jersey led him down a path of blurred boundaries between science and religion. Once there, he came face-to-face with deeply entrenched evil and ultimately witnessed the overwhelming healing power of love.

In Glimpses of the Devil, Dr. Peck’s celebrated gift for integrating psychiatry and religion is demonstrated yet again as he recounts his journey from skepticism to eventual acknowledgment of the reality of an evil spirit, even at the risk of being shunned by the medical establishment. In the process, he also finds himself compelled to confront the larger paradox of free will, of a commitment to goodness versus enslavement to the forms of evil, and the monumental clash of forces that endangers both sanity and the soul.
Glimpses of the Devil is unquestionably among Scott Peck’s most powerful, scrupulously written, and important books in many years. At once deeply sensitive and intensely chilling, it takes a clear-eyed look at one of the most mysterious and misunderstood areas of human experience.” https://www.amazon.com/Glimpses-Devil-Psychiatrists-Possession-Redemption-ebook/dp/B000FCJZPY

http://www.picturequotes.com/every-person-has-the-choice-between-good-and-evil-choose-good-and-stand-against-those-who-would-quote-775501

If we are going to fight back against this enemy, a sociopath, we must recognize who we’re dealing with. We cannot provide any defense or offense to push back unless we know who the enemy really is and what they’re thinking, what’s in their head.”

Clarity About Discerning Benevolent Narcissistic Abuse

Melanie Tonia Evans provides a video in which she shares the true definition of narcissism. This definition is validating to me. It is what I have concluded, over time, with studying overt and covert narcissistic behaviors. I concluded that human beings are like a shell when we have unprocessed trauma. When we avoid going within, we keep trauma in storage on the inside.

Trauma left in storage on the inside keeps us hypervigilant, guarded, numb, irritable, easily triggered, pretending, dissociating, tending to verbally and physically attack other people, blaming, projecting our unresolved trauma on to other people, emotionally withdrawn, isolating, holding on to body armor and tension which leads to physiological and physical disorders in addition to nutrient deficiencies, etc. It seems we add to the storage because we unconsciously react with addictive behaviors. We may become chemically dependent, mentally ill, obese, engage in abusive relationships, be self-injurious, be promiscuous, etc.

I have more difficulty with identifying the covert, the benevolent, narcissist-sociopath who hides behind good deeds. Melanie describes the benevolent narcissist and shares what I have learned. Below, I quote excerpts from her narrative (emphasis mine) and have embedded her video. I hope it helps others to discern those who pretend to care, who focus on self-image, who are easily triggered with narcissistic injury when they refuse to go within to heal trauma, and who refuse to take responsibility for harm done to others.

“The Benevolent Altruistic Narcissist Is Not Your Typical Narcissist

Many people, including myself, took a long time to work out what was going on with this narcissist. If you’ve had more typical narcissistic encounters, you know that the narcissist, once the honeymoon period is over and all the cracks appear, doesn’t tend to put themselves out for other people unless there’s a definite agenda or payoff.

When things start really breaking down in your relationship with this person, they don’t tend to hide their narcissism as much. You discover that they’re really entitled, cruel, calculating and nasty, and that’s the majority of the time. There’s less and less smatterings of the being nice.

Yet, the benevolent narcissist is often giving and caring. And even when you’ve had horrific episodes with this person, if you get through them, you find that they come back to being caring and seeming to love you.

They grant you attention and time and effort. They’re very generous with those things, but when they turn on you, it’s just as devastating as with any narcissist.

Is it any wonder that you are thinking, “How can this person be a narcissist? Surely things like entitlement and superiority wouldn’t allow this person to go over and beyond with their generosity and the way they are with people by being so giving to causes and institutions. And of course, the way that they treat me so beautifully.” Yet this person is narcissistic. Absolutely.

Unconsciousness

How you can know this is by understanding what I humbly believe the true definition of narcissism is. The true definition, I believe, is unconsciousness, meaning, “I’m not going to take responsibility for my behaviour. It’s always somebody else’s fault and I’m not going to turn within and I’m not going to do the inner work on my traumatized parts to heal them.”

“I’m not going to take responsibility and do something about myself in order to change my beliefs, my behaviour, and therefore my life.” Somebody else’s fault – always.

Narcissists when triggered into narcissistic injury – which really just means when things don’t go the way they need them to be in order to maintain their version of self – go into a narcissistic trigger, a narcissistic injury, which really usually is a narcissistic rage. It can be cold, it can be hot.

What it means is they’re either going to stonewall and abandon really cruelly, or they lash out. A benevolent narcissist, those who appear to be altruistic people, they are no different at the time of a narcissistic trigger. At these times you really can’t tell the difference between them and any other variety of narcissist. But the difference really is in how this narcissist behaves in order to get narcissistic supply.

https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-benevolent-narcissist-hides-behind-good-deeds/

How Does The Benevolent Narcissist Manipulate?

We need to look at how the benevolent narcissist manipulates to get people’s Life Force and energy and stuff?

This narcissist knows how to give to get. A really simple example of this would be a narcissistic parent who over gives and then could say to their child, “Look at what I do for you” to hold them to something with guilt because this is controlling.

It’s a way of giving by the altruistic narcissist to win allegiance, loyalty and servitude from people and be able to call on them, making them feel obligated to supply favours, sex, money, energy, and attention.

It’s also a very powerful method to keep people bonded to the narcissist. This ensures that they’re not going to leave and they’ll cling and get dependent on all the wonderful things that the narcissist supplies – things like regular declarations of love, oodles of compliments, words of approval, financial security. This type of narcissist commonly banks on people becoming dependent on them so that the narcissist can get out of the deal what they want. Absolutely.

We go wrong when we try to make it about trying to work out others and why they behave the way they do. When we are doing that and you’re with somebody like an altruistic narcissist, you’re walking on broken glass and you’re enduring people who are abusing you in these moments, regardless of how infrequently it may happen. Abuse is abuse.

What Narcissistic Abuse Looks Like

Here is one of the altruistic narcissist’s favourite weapons – using obligation and guilt to get you to keep handing over more of your resources to them, telling you how much they’ve done for you and how you owe them.

This narcissist knows that you’re a good person. They know that you feel guilty and obligated and they know that they can manipulate you with this to keep exploiting you and emptying you out. Please know this, one moment of abuse without consciousness, without responsibility, without remorse, without atonement, without true reconciliation is one too many.

Please know this, one moment of abuse without consciousness, without responsibility, without remorse, without atonement, without true reconciliation is one too many.

What I mean is this is abuse without course correct, and without an appropriate up level. Let’s say that this narcissist lashes out at you. They don’t apologize. They don’t take responsibility appropriately. You have to fight tooth and nail to try to get an apology. Or you have to leave for an amount of time before they are willing to put your feelings, your person, your Soul, before the defenses of their ego, which firmly holds onto, “I’m above reproach. How dare you tell me that I am somehow wrong.”

They only apologize after you leave after far too long. And here’s what’s very important – the apology isn’t genuine. You know that because you give it a little poke with a stick and it’ll unravel and they’ll start doing tit for tat and blaming you and saying, “Well, what about you and what you do wrong?”

Narcissists are also amoral – they don’t care about lying and doing the wrong thing. They really don’t. They never feel bad about doing immoral things. They feel bad about getting caught out about it. They don’t feel bad about lying, cheating and stealing. They really don’t. This particular narcissist just cloaks it by pretending to be a model citizen who’s honest, moral and practices monogamy.

How Do You Survive And Then Thrive After A Benevolent Narcissist?

Firstly, it starts by being very clear about what your values and your truths are. It means that you start to be clear that you’ve got to be prepared to let go of somebody who is abusing you. They’re not going to change so you have to make space for real relationships which are healthy. But you have to get healthy enough to honour yourself and choose your Soul. It is much better to lose somebody else than to lose your Soul.

This means no longer participating with people who don’t have the capacity to be safe and healthy. Somebody who’s unconscious, which means they’re not taking responsibility for their behaviour, and they attack others mercilessly, is always going to reoffend.

Altruistic narcissists are just very good at hiding this behind their good deeds. That’s the truth, this benevolent narcissist is a narcissist.”

Create Authentic, Real, Loving Caring Relationships

We claim our Soul, mind and life emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. We do our inner work so we can create real, authentic, loving and caring relationships.

https://margaretdill.com/archives/9043

Judges Collude to Cover Up Sexual Abuse

Mom Reports Sexual Abuse: Contact w/Daughter Eliminated

Two Judges Collude in Cover Up: Sign Petition to Remove Them

Another copy/paste from The Women’s Coalition

“Kristina worked out a safety plan with a domestic violence agency for leaving her abuser. She provided the District Attorney with her “good cause report”, which is required when a DV victim leaves the jurisdiction with a child. She left California and returned to her hometown in Pennsylvania legally.

But Judge Elizabeth Hill issued a bogus abduction warrant and ordered Kristina’s 3 year-old daughter be forcibly removed by police, brought back to California, and placed with the [alleged] abuser.

Kristina has not seen her precious daughter in almost a year.

Judge Elizabeth Hill

Judge Hill KNEW the custody papers the father filed were fraudulent. She KNEW Kristina had not been served the documents. She KNEW there were no proofs of service in the court file of the petition, summons, UCCJEA declaration, motion, and proposed order. She KNEW the father was filing falsified documents in order to steal custody from Kristina. Her orders are void due to lack of service.

When Kristina reported her daughter disclosed sexual abuse, Judge Hill ordered a deputy sheriff to seek a restraining order against her on the grounds that reporting incest is a form of domestic violence.

Judge Hill gave sole custody to the father without a shred of due process afforded to Kristina, not even a basic evidentiary hearing.

Judge Hill did such a good job upholding the Old Boy agenda of keeping men entitled over “their” women and children, that she was promoted to Presiding Judge of criminal court. Of course, she knew she would be rewarded if she sold out Kristina (and she has likely sold out many more mothers). She knew that is the stepping stone to higher status. There’s a special place in hell…

Judge Rachel Holt

After Hill was promoted, Judge Rachel Holt was assigned to the case and, not surprisingly, she has continued to violate Kristina’s due process rights.

Judge Holt has also contributed to the cover up of sexual abuse by obstructing evidence supporting the father is molesting the daughter and not allowing a hearing on the abuse and not ordering the mandatory FC 3118 investigation of the abuse.

Kristina has filed complaints on Judge Hill and Judge Holt with the Commission on Judicial Performance and Governor Newsom, who appointed Holt. She is alerting a state Senator to the travesty.

Kristina is seeking an immediate investigation and removal of the two judges.

PLEASE SIGN KRISITINA’S PETITION!


The Women’s Coalition is documenting custody cases that involve sexual abuse to support our contention that judges are deliberately disregarding evidence and enabling fathers. If you reported sexual abuse of your child in Family Court, please take a minute to fill out this form. You may do this anonymously.”


Body Armoring

Revulsion in the Presence of Evil

This is vital information to know when surviving a sociopath.

While we are in the midst of having a sociopath in our life, we are often, unconsciously, on guard. We do not realize what we are doing to our mind and body. Instead, we do our best to follow through on our daily responsibilities. But, we are not prepared for nor protected from the evil in our midst. Because we have not been educated about sociopaths, who live in our midst, we are left vulnerable, unsuspecting, and a target for the salivating sociopath.

Meanwhile, our body knows the danger in our midst. I think of Dr. Scott Peck’s book People of the Lie, once again, as he describes the danger. Dr. Peck writes: “Revulsion is a powerful emotion that immediately causes us to want to avoid, to escape, the revolting presence. And that is exactly the most appropriate thing for a healthy person to do under ordinary circumstances when confronted with an evil presence: to get away from it. Evil is revolting because it is dangerous. It will contaminate or otherwise destroy a person who remains too long in its presence. Unless you know very well what you are doing, the best thing you can do when faced with evil is to run the other way. The revulsion counter-transference is an instinctive or, if you will, God-given and saving early-warning radar system” (page 65).

Evil is revolting because it is dangerous. It will contaminate or otherwise destroy a person who remains too long in its presence. Unless you know very well what you are doing, the best thing you can do when faced with evil is to run the other way.

“Evil has to do not only with killing bodies, but also with killing spirits. Life includes besides heartbeats and brainwaves such things as “sentience, mobility, awareness, growth, autonomy, will.” Some people try to kill these things in others. So Erich Fromm says in The Heart of Man that evil people try to control others, “to foster their dependency, to discourage their capacity to think for themselves, to diminish their unpredictability and originality, to keep them in line.” The evil want to turn others into their puppets—“by contrast to Jesus’ ‘abundant life.’” (pg 42-43)

So, while the mind and body are being destroyed by the sociopath, the unsuspecting target is suffering body tension and heading toward chronic illness. The sociopath enjoys this breakdown because the target becomes easier to control. Eventually, the breakdown of health, in mind and body for the target, will result in collapse. With collapse, the sociopath can no longer indulge in narcissistic supply and easily discards the target. The sociopath immediately seeks new narcissistic supply (with no care for the person he/she destroyed).

Involuntary Tension

Sarah Sherwood is an Embodiment Coach, Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner and Non-Linear Movement Method Facilitator. She specializes in working with how trauma and overwhelming stress cause uncomfortable feelings in our bodies and unhealthy patterns of behavior that hold us back from the fullness of life. She helps clients resolve these reactions through regulating the nervous system.

Sarah writes about long held tension patterns. She says “these long held tension patterns are called “body armoring”. Armoring can be defined as chronic patterns of involuntary tension in the body that dampen or block emotional expression, alter perception of both the outer and the inner psychological world, diminish or eliminate kinesthetic awareness and other sensations, and resist range of motion and movement (Greene and Goodrich-Dunn).

Body armoring is different from waking up with a crick in your neck or creating tension in your low back from raking leaves. It has a chronic and resistant nature that reflects the psychological defenses from which it originates. To protect itself from perceived threat, the body takes a defensive, tight, tense stance; bracing itself for what is coming. The body doesn’t differentiate between bracing for a car accident, a wounding word from a bully, or the absence of presence from our caretakers as children.

These defense responses happen involuntarily and most often outside awareness.  Common protective (defensive) survival responses include: shallow/restricted breathing, raised shoulders, tightened jaw, clenched fists, tense focus and pressure in the eyes, grinding teeth, restless legs, fidgeting, and numbness or feeling disconnected.

Scientific studies give proof that somatic (of the body) and visceral (felt in or as if in the internal organs of the body; gut) feedback is critical in the experience and/or repression of emotion. Body armoring can disconnect different parts of the body from awareness, may cause a person to experience the body as anesthetized, or even have the sense that they are invisible, thereby cutting us off from our full range of life experience.

Kinesthetic Awareness is Critical

Kinesthetic awareness is critical in knowing how we feel and attunement to these sensations is a building block of self-perception. When we are disconnected from our felt sense because of the effects of body armoring, there is a direct breakdown in our ability to know who we are, what we want and need, resulting in difficulty determining what our direction in life should be.

The converse is also true. Body armoring can create a heightened or hyper awareness of sensation creating a constant experience of pain. We may become flooded with awareness of a certain area of the body, or generalized pain, limiting our capacity to take in our life experience. These neural tension patterns are automatic and the contraction/restriction in the soft tissue is triggered when we respond to stress in our current situation.

A common expression of this is raising our shoulders when in a stressful situation. This is a primal impulse to protect ourselves by making us appear bigger, even though it may have no modern day impact on the computer screen that’s been hovering over us for 10 hours or the deadline that is breathing down our neck.  This involuntary response often leads to discomfort between the shoulder blades, neck pain and stiffness, and headaches that originate from the base of the skull. A consistent amount of stress will create a chronic experience of pain. Sarah states the good news:

The good news is that although these patterns may be unconscious and involuntary they don’t have to be permanent

Dr. Peck speaks to the massive fortification we use to survive sociopaths: “If evil were easy to recognize, identify, and manage, there would be no need for this book. But the fact of the matter is that it is the most difficult of all things with which to cope. If we, as objectively detached, mature adults, have great difficulty coming to terms with evil, think of what it must be like for the child living in its midst. The child can emotionally survive only by virtue of a massive fortification of its psyche. While such fortifications or psychological defenses are essential to its survival through childhood, they inevitably distort or compromise its life as an adult” (People of the Lie, page 130)

The child can emotionally survive only by virtue of a massive fortification of its psyche. While such fortifications or psychological defenses are essential to its survival through childhood, they inevitably distort or compromise its life as an adult

Sad, Tragic Fact

I look back on my life experience and remember the first time I felt revulsion and confusion with the sociopath. We were dating, I was walking alone on a city street, and my boyfriend (unknown at the time that he was a sociopath) pulled up beside me in his vehicle. I remember thinking it was odd he knew where I was. I now realize it meant he was stalking and was obsessed with knowing my whereabouts. At the time, I did not know what it meant. Now I definitely know it was an inner warning.

There were many other warnings in my life. But, I had body armored for so long, and had seen so much dysfunction, I was in survival with little kinesthetic awareness. I was unable to hear my intuitive voice. I was told, years later by a therapist, that we freeze with trauma so that the “hair on the back of our neck no longer stands up”. I had lived walking on eggshells to survive my childhood and then continued the pattern into marriage. The lack of paying attention to inner warnings added layer after layer of armoring. In addition, the denial of evil all around us, in both family and culture, socialized me to ignore the feeling of revulsion in the presence of evil. Back then, I did not know there was such a feeling.

Resilience

Being stuck in massive fortification, body armoring, denial, family and cultural programming, chronic illness, etc. are not permanent. Sarah emphasizes resilience, of human beings, when facing life challenge. She says: “I was faced with a decision: Would I be held captive by my life circumstances, or would I choose to see this as an opportunity? I learned every moment of every hour of every day in every situation I had a choice: Become a Victim or Embrace Opportunity.

Become a Victim or Embrace Opportunity

Being a victim meant feeling stuck, uncertain about my future, and overwhelmed by my circumstances. Embracing opportunity meant taking the next step, not giving up and strengthening my mind through what I chose to focus on – what I chose to believe.

Receiving the gift of this opportunity allowed my faith to become resilient and my trust in God to become secure. Hopeful, I believed there was a higher purpose in it all, for the greater good. Learning how to live a complete, free and fulfilling life was a hard-fought process. (https://sarah-sherwood.com/my-story/)

Emotional Health

https://www.azquotes.com/quote/779444

Once we escape from the sociopath, we have much healing to do of the mind and body. I recall my body, being armored for so long, that I had much muscle tension and physical pain. I needed a safe place which could not be found because the sociopath continued to harass, stalk, and assault. When I could finally find safety and get some rest, I began the process of settling down my nervous system. The good news is that it can be done. I feel good today and have healed naturally. I hope for the same for my children so they find total recovery after surviving pure evil in both their sociopath father and the evil family court system. I hope for total recovery of all survivors of sociopathy.

https://www.facebook.com/HealingFromComplexTraumaAndPTSDAndCPTSD/photos/a.573701892716569/2582741748479230/