Tami M Joyce provides the following life lesson about smear campaigns and toxic family members. It is a copy/paste with bold emphasis (mine) which guides us toward walking away from those who maliciously spread lies about us. If we are the family scapegoat, we learn we have to let go of those who will not change and, instead, persistently seek ways to dump their issues on to us, wreak destruction, and get narcissistic supply so they don’t have to look at themselves:
Someone once asked me, “Tamie, how do you defend yourself against liars?” 
Here was my response…
Why? Because when you do, you give your power away.
What I’ve learned is to walk away from them entirely.
Which for me has meant walking away from the majority of my family of origin for this very reason.
It’s not easy. It’s excruciatingly painful, actually.
Regardless, standing still, and attempting to defend yourself against people determined to slander, vilify, discredit, and scapegoat you is a colossal exercise in futility!
There’s a saying, “When toxic people can no longer control you, they’ll try to control how others see you.”
Usually, this is done with distortions, half-truths, outright lies, and lies by omission.
When dealing with destructive narcissists, it’s a classic tactic known as a ‘smear campaign.’
Two things are key here…
First, eliminate liars from your life. Period.
Absolute, outright no contact. Cut and cauterize.
IMO, it’s the only way to go.
N.o.b.o.d.y. should have people in their life who are capable of wreaking destruction and havoc anytime they choose simply by opening their mouths.
Second, do the work to heal and get our self-esteem to a point where we are no longer wrapped up in the opinions of others… at all!!
I know my Truth. I know who I am. I know what I have lived. I know what I did and did not do. What I did and did not say.
I also know what they did and did not do. What they did and did not say.
I am not crazy. I was not hallucinating. I am not cognitively impaired.
I know what I live.
Furthermore, what others think of me is none of my business.
We must become independent of the opinions of others, good, bad, or indifferent.
That really is the bottom line. Not easy but essential.
You CAN get there!
We have to stop giving a flying bleep what others think of us, and start caring more about what WE think of us and how much WE LOVE ourselves.
From that place, we attract MUCH healthier and happier people, and we don’t have to deal with so much BS and insanity in our lives.
Life is hard enough without all the added nonsense, no?!
The other bottom line is this…
People do NOT get to lie to me – or about me – and stay in my life… no matter WHO they are. Period!
This is non-negotiable.
I don’t need to defend myself. I just need them gone.
One of my favorite quotes from ACIM is, “In my defenselessness, my safety lies.”
Here’s the thing…
When we invest any of our time, energy, and attention into darkness and toxicity that is not ours to own, we are investing in the wrong things IF we want anything to change.
My suggestion is to spend more time learning how to Love yourself deeply, so you can reside predominantly in what is good, and LIGHT, and True!! 
DO NOT engage with liars.
ESPECIALLY IF they are lying about you!
EVER! Period!
There are a lot of people I can thank for teaching me this POWERFUL lesson the hard way…
Not least of which are some VERY sick members of my family of origin.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!
Without you and ALL the lies you needed to tell for ALL the reasons I now know had absolutely ZERO to do with me…
Without ALL of it….
I would not be ME – doing ME – as fully, completely, and powerfully as I am today. Thank you!
Big love,
~ Tamie M xx
#knowyourvalue#superempath#unlockyourfreedom
Empaths, Sociopaths, and Post-Traumatic Growth 